6 REASONS WHY JEDIISM IS BETTER THAN OTHER RELIGIONS:
Although religion is one of the most contentious debates in the world, I can tell you, unequivocally, why Jediism is best by using 6 brief examples.
1) There is no creepy and morbid death symbol to signify club membership.
So many of us have grown up being surrounded by these religious symbols that we don’t blink an eye when we see them; but when you really stop and pay attention to the images and the meaning behind them, it is easy to be horrified. Jediism is about life and energy. There is no need for uncomfortable depictions of suffering. Instead, the Force teaches people to be at one with the universe.
2) There is no ritualistic ceremony that requires disciples to pretend they are drinking blood and eating flesh.
When you’re hungry, it can be tempting to slip into a communion and snack on a wafer, then chase it down with a gulp of wine. However, the significance of this ritual is more than a little disturbing when you learn the symbolism behind what is ingested. Maybe it would be better to pop into that convenience store down the road after all. Suddenly, those puffed fake cheese thingies don’t sound so bad.
Cannibalism is bad – except when it comes from the Saviour.
3) You don’t have to worry about accidentally burning your house down because you fell asleep with 9 candles lit.
Fire can be tricky. Particularly when it is mixed with celebratory drinking. Picture this: you have the candles out, everything is lit according to tradition, and then uncle Sal breaks out the kosher wine….
and suddenly you’re awakened by an army of Firefighters pounding on your door. Not fun. There are no fire related rituals attached with Jediism.
4) The “uniform” of Jediism consists of unisex standard robes that are comfortable.
If you’re tired of religiously gendered clothing, Jediism is for you! So many other religions require stifling and uncomfortable uniforms that are even more restricting for women than men. Although, television has taught us that one uniform can help us to fly if we’re plucky enough:
It sure looks heavy and uncomfortable. This would be particularly unsuitable in hotter climates (like Tatooine!).
See, this is much more comfortable:
EQUALITY AMONGST THE SEXES! The Force loves us all!
5) You can instantly beckon anything to you including beer and the remote control.
Is that sandwich waiting for you in the kitchen beyond your grasp? Never fear, with a raise of your hands and the scrunch of your face you can have your meal within your grasp in seconds; and you’ll look wicked cool doing it, too.
This dude uses the force to eat pizza:
6) Mind Control looks cooler when you do it with a wave of the hand.
You don’t have to get your friends drunk to play fun mind games on them. This mind control also comes in handy when dealing with the police and members of public office; it works on the weak minded.
So, you see? Jediism is clearly the best religion of them all.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.
Christ on Cross. Creating Futures.com. Web.
Communion. Political Forum Blog Spot. Web.
Dude Eating Pizza. Weils. Lokwi.com. Web.
Flying Nun. PalZoo.net. Web.
Great London Fire. Vision.tv.com. Web.
Jedi Robe. Nicetunic.com. Web.
Jedi Robe. Shadowdale Creations. Web.